Nursing….here I come! (After my holiday that is!)

Yesterday was my last day in full-time employment, at least for a while, and the last day of what is now ‘previous’ career. It was a really bizarre day. I had waves of sadness, anger, then sadness again, happiness, excitement, fear, disappointment….pppppfft! It was a little bit of a rollercoaster of a day!

It still doesn’t feel real. I even tried to access my work (ex-work?) emails this morning. Not sure why. I want to say that it was to see if my account had been disabled or if I was just imagining having left work, but I think it was just habit… but alas, my account has been disabled and password changed. After 5 years, 2 months and 5 days at the company I think I kind of expected to always have access to my work emails…aren’t I strange?!

I had a little laugh at myself for attempting to check my emails. I also felt a little stupid. What would I have done if I could have accessed them? Would I have responded? Would I have forwarded them to other people? My Out of Office message clearly advises who to contact in my absence so…Why do I still feel a little responsible?  It feels a little difficult to make the break now that it’s here.

BUT, a break I must make. In only 9 days I will be picking up my student nurse ID and in 10 days I will have my fittings for my uniforms!! I have to admit that the notion of looking like a baby whale in uniform isn’t particularly appealing but I’m really looking forward to finally wearing my blue and pink upside-down watches (a.k.a fob watches) and to finally get going 🙂

However, before all that there’s my holiday to enjoy! 7 days in the sun. Relaxing, swimming, studying, eating and sleeping! Heaven! Just what I need to switch off, recharge the batteries and to engage brain into student nurse mode on my return.

It is definitely exciting to think that technically I am nearly part of the biggest employer/service provider in Europe and the 5th biggest in the world (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-17429786) isn’t that amazing? I find it incredible!  I never understand how people can be so negative and derogative about the NHS – sure there’s a lot to fix, but nothing is perfect, I’m sure no-one reading this is perfect either. Let’s work hard to protect, improve, develop and maintain the NHS. It is a lifeline for many.

Nursing…here I come! (after my holiday that is…).

 

Finally here…

September that is.

It has finally arrived! How did that happen? It really has felt like it would never come but after all the preparation, applications, interviews, handing my notice in, wrapping up and planning, September is finally here! This reminds me of a really funny sketch…wrong month but funny nonetheless!

 

With the month of September, enrolment at university has also arrived.  It feels so surreal! I am now officially a Student Nurse. A Student Nurse. A Student Nurse. A Student Nurse. I still don’t believe it! Irrespective of how many times I say it!

I am also due to finish work in exactly 6 days. Wow. After 5 years, 2 months and 4 days I will be leaving my job at a software company. A job which has allowed me to travel the world and which has opened countless doors for me….but, ultimately a job which is definitely time to leave behind. Time to move on 🙂

But, as expected….the ‘fear’ has also arrived. I feel like I’m about to start primary or secondary school again. I really don’t remember being this worried the first time I went to university. Will I make friends? Will everyone know as little as I do? Or will I be the thick one in the class? What if its’s too hard? What if I just can’t do it? More importantly, what if I don’t like it? What happens if it really isn’t what I thought it was going to be? What’s if I’m just no good at it? What if what if what if what if what if……

But then, there is the whole other extreme…what if I don’t do this? What if I just stayed in my current job? What if nothing changed and I just did everything that I currently do? I know the answer to this. If nothing changed, I wouldn’t grow (I’m not talking about height because I stopped growing about 16 years ago!). I mean, I would just carry on being the same, just going through the motions, not really developing my identity nor developing my mind. I would get stuck and I would just ‘be’ or exist. I want more for myself. I want to better myself and if in the process I can also make others better then that just makes everything absolutely great!

As big as this wave of doubts currently is, I can’t see how not moving on and embarking on this would stop me from being scared. I would just find something else to be scared of. The positives far outweigh the ‘fear’. What if I am great at this? What if I am able to pick everything up? What if it’s everything I hope it is and more? What if I love it? What if I really was born to do this?

If you are not willing to risk the unusual, you will have to settle for the ordinary  – Jim Rohn

September also comes with my last holiday for a while…given the intensity of my course for the next 3 years but also the inevitable lack of finances, I really just wanted a lovely relaxing holiday to recharge my batteries before my adventure begins! Cambrils (Spain) here I come! I plan to do nothing but read, sunbathe and listen to my music in between sleeping and eating. A little bit of sunshine will be the perfect bridge between the chapter I’m about to close, and the chapter that is just about to be opened.

The pre-final countdown

In honour of now only having 20 days left until term starts (eeeeek!!!!) I thought I would amuse myself by trying to come up with a list of ‘counts’ from 20 to 0. It took me a really long time to come up with these and whilst not all of them are nursing or uni related, it clearly demonstrates that I am slightly excited at this new chapter by the fact I’m counting down every single day – some times even multiple times per day and by the minute…so here it goes!

20 Days left until term starts! Did I already mention that?

19 Pairs of “summer” shoes that I will have to pack away any day now in exchange for winter boots. Which reminds me, I need to buy my comfy shoes!

18 Years (and 9 months) since my little brother was born. He’s now taller than me and not so little! It’s amazing to think that many of my fellow students will be my brother’s age! I wonder if they’ll look at me as being as uncool as my brother thinks I am!

17 Pens, pencils etc.. in my new pink pencil case! Calculator included in the count. It’s purple:-)

16 Eggs I have been known to eat in one week when I’ve been on a special diet! I know I know! Think of the cholesterol and sodium….

15 Major cities that I have been to in the last 12 months (London, Stockholm, Edinburgh, Monastir,  LA, Chicago, New York, Prague, Rotterdam, Phoenix, Lisbon, Vienna, Berlin, Zurich, Boston)

14 Years since I last studied biology. I’m really focusing most of my pre-term study on anatomy and physiology as that’s really my weakest academic area. It’s fascinating!

13 Years old – age when I was finally allowed to join the army cadets! I loved it…even if the uniform wasn’t particularly flattering (good practice for the lovely tough cotton nurse uniforms!) but we got to play with rifles!

12 Years since I finished my A-levels (Business, French & German)

11 Folders currently stocked up with dividers and pollypockets eagerly awaiting to be used. They come in different colours and sizes!

10 Days holiday between finishing full time work and starting term! What to do what to do!! I need some vitamin D.

9 Days left of my current career!!! Including today, which shouldn’t count because it’s nearly over!

8 Years since I finished my Business & French degree. It’s definitely a strange feeling to be returning back to university, but this time round in my home town.

7 kgs of weight that I want to lose before I get fitted for my uniform…hmmmm…wishful thinking?

6 Blog posts now written! Including this one. Go me!

5 Other Student Nurse blogs I’m currently following and reading! All so different…and  much more informative that mine…

4 Weeks since I applied for CRB clearance…no news is good news, right? right?

3 Books currently being read almost simultaneously – I would say that right now I understand about a third of what I’m reading – so by reading 3 books at once I’m speeding up the learning process – logical no?

2 Continents I’m yet to visit!! Will I be choosing an elective in one of those continents? Who knows?! Sounds exciting and it’d be super good to practice my Spanish or French in a clinical setting.

1 Trouser zip left open this morning. I only realised after walking down a busy road, getting on a bus, walking down another busy road and into a busy building and a crowded lift at work. Hello boys!

Zero Doubt (currently) that I am most definitely doing the right thing (doubts do come and go in waves though – this is a drought).

“Everything that can be counted does not necessarily count; everything that counts cannot necessarily be counted”
Albert Einstein

23 Days to Go….

Only 23 days to go??

I have been busier than ever preparing for life as a student. I finally managed to go to the bank to change my bank account from a normal current account to a student one with free money (the bank calls this free money an overdraft!). Eeeek! I’m not sure how I feel about an overdraft. I recall it took me around 5 years to pay off my last student overdraft so I’m not having one this time round – it is too tempting otherwise! I can always change my mind later.

I also joined my local library – which in all honesty only has about 5 useful books but I like that it’s only a 10 minute walk away from home, and that it is little and cute and that old people go there to read the daily newspaper rather than spending the 50p it costs to buy. It also gives me somewhere else to go to if I want a bit of peace and quiet to study other than uni or home. And there’s a Costa Coffee across the road…Plus I get a nice new fancy library card to add to all my other membership cards that my mum is always amazed to see in my ever growing purse 🙂

I bought myself some of that plastic film stuff to cover my books and academic diary with so they don’t get dirty. Do you remember having that at school? I do and I also remember it was fashionable at one point to cover text books with wrapping paper! I’m not quite sure why! You got extra kudos if the wrapping paper had a metallic shine to it!

I also treated myself to a corkboard (and a jumper…haha). It is a cork/white memo board combo so I can pin things to one side and write my shopping list and important dates on the other side – isn’t that clever?

At the shop, a very nice elderly gentleman waiting in the queue behind me asked me what it was and I explained it was my attempt to organise myself for uni  – he looked very shocked and then asked was I not too young to go to uni.  “I’m 30!”, “Ooooh you look 17!”…  Bless him! Old people are so sweet! I should have taken him straight to the opticians…….

I still feel that I have so much to do! I haven’t yet heard about my CRB clearance, nor do I know whether I’ll need any further immunisations, I need to buy my new comfy shoes, send off my passport to the student loads people, check with the bursary people  about the extra weeks allowance they need to add, enrol online whenever the system decides to start working for nursing student, go on holiday and of course, colour code all these activities as well as freshers parties, birthdays etc…in my newly plastic-covered academic diary! And study! I need to get through some of those mammoth books so I can borrow new ones from the library!

ONLY 23 Days to go?!!! I’m running out of time! 

Special pens and things

I collect things. I obviously collect nursing books as if they were rare editions and going out of print in the next hour and I also collect snowglobes. Don’t laugh! They are really cute and a lovely reminder of places that I have been too.

I have 20 snowglobes, including one which doesn’t have (pretend) snow in it at all because I bought it in Phoenix, Arizona USA (which is desert mostly) so that one just has sand and a cactus in it 🙂

I digress. My snowglobe collection isn’t really what I wanted to talk about!

I have recently noticed that I’ve started collecting small random things “just in case” they are useful on my university placements. What kind of things? Notepads…no…hair clips…. no…. scissors … nope not that either….pens! Well…sort off…. I have started collecting special pens and other special things… below is what I have accumulated so far:

Isn’t it a lovely eclectic mix of things! I will try to explain what they are and the reasoning behind my collection (though I’m not convinced most people would appreciate my definition of reasoning!) – from centre, clockwise:

  1. Playing cards – Hospital can be utterly boring…maybe one day…if I get time…and if a poor patient is bored I could have a game with them?
  2. Stress Pig – Called Percy. He has been a source of amusement at my current work place, but his real job is to act as a stress reliever….maybe I can lend it to one of the millions of stressed out nurses that people keep telling me about….
  3. Flower pen – it’s black ink…I’ve read that black pens are better for photocopying care notes and things but this one has a flower on it! Ahhhhhhh!
  4. Glow in the dark pen – it’s also black ink…as above…but also it glows in the dark! What more is there to say! Very useful in an emergency if all the lights go out…because evidently having a pen will be at the top of my priorities if that happens….eeeek….
  5. European Translator – I know I know…there are people out there who are real translators in hospital…but it could still be useful one day! Oh wait. I speak 4 European languages…oh….well…it could be entertaining at break time! Do we get breaks?
  6. Baseball Bat pen – as per all the other pens it is also black ink! Something a bit different!
  7. Barrel Monkey Game Pen – this one cannot go anywhere near children because it has really small plastic monkeys which allegedly link together to make a monkey chain..not sure what ink colour it is because I haven’t yet opened it…..but it looks fun!

I have no idea what prompted me to start collecting these things, and I really do question what I’ll be doing with it all:

  • Am I even allowed to have special pens? They’re not very practical…and they’ll probably get in the way of doing things if they are in my pocket, and they may even be dangerous! The flower one looks nice but it’s really hard material and I’m sure it could be used as a weapon. Not a very big weapon but it could scratch. I just wondered, sometimes, when in hospital as a patient, you really want to have a bit of a chat but you don’t know how to get the conversation going with staff, you don’t really care for the weather since you’re stuck indoors, so maybe a special pen can break the ice…”ooooh that’s a fancy pen!”…”ooh do you like it?”…..”yes it’s lovely”…”Ohhh I’m glad…so…how are you feeling this morning, is there anything I can get you?”…you know…that sort of thing.
  • Will I even have time on placements to spend with patients/clients/service users? I think some people may say that I must be dreaming if I think that I’ll have time to sit down and play cards. That’s fair enough. I can be honest and say I have absolutely no idea what it will involve. But shouldn’t nursing allow for a little of this? Not just playing cards I mean, but to spend sufficient time with anyone who needs it. To encourage them, and to help rebuild their self-esteem and independence. What if a game of cards could make someone feel important, acknowledged or even comforted? It could make all the difference, right?
  • How am I going to carry all this? I don’t think the pockets on my uniform are big enough for all this plus my notepad, scissors and whatever else nurses have in their pockets. Unless I get secret pockets down my trousers.
  • Am I a little strange for even collecting these things and then telling the world about it? I admit it. I probably am not just a little strange but also a little naive about nursing and what exactly it entails day-to-day. But if nothing else, it clearly shows that I’m passionate about my new career and that my heart is in the right place (in other words, it lies in my chest, immediately above the diaphragm and opposite the lower two-thirds of my breast-bone – hahaha! My first nurse joke). What I mean is (after ranting for 830 words) that my collection of goodies means a lot more to me than just a bunch of special pens and toys. To me, they represent a change in mindset, and a new way of looking at even the smallest and silliest of things.

And who doesn’t want a pen that glows in the dark anyway.

Enrolment Day! Or Not.

I was hoping I’d be able to enrol online today but the website is not working!!! I’ve checked with a few people from my course and they can’t seem to enrol either so it’s not just me…ggggrrrr I was so excited to get my student email address!

But…what I did find was ALL of the course materials for the next year which may as well be written in Chinese because I don’t understand much of it.The sheer amount of it is enough to frighten anyone and I’m really not sure a year is long enough to get through it all…Maybe 10 years.

Anyway, what I have noticed though is that there is a lot of drawing involved…drawing cells, organelles, organs, body systems, body cavities, body sections etc… basically anything and everything! Which is fabulous if you are the creative type but I can tell you that I’m no Picasso.

For example, take evidence number 1 below – this is me attempting to draw the moon on an iPhone game called Draw Something…

Image

As you can see. It really is quite an impressive piece of work! Before I go any further and as a little bit of a disclaimer, I’d just like to warn you not to try and read my writing and to remember I’m still learning…Anyway…As if that isn’t enough evidence, below is my attempt to learn the structure of the heart….

Yes….that is indeed a picture of an actual cartoon heart…!! I didn’t even attempt to draw the anatomical version of a heart because I just do not know how to! My drawing skills are completely limited to outlines of things and to stick people, as the following confirms in my attempt to learn the skeletal system….

Image

Beautiful…..

How am I going to cope? Is it not enough that I need to be a talking-walking encyclopedia, a queen of cleanliness, a master of all things clinical, a virtuoso of anatomy and physiology and now…an illustrator!

Actually come to think of it, Picasso was an abstract painter wasn’t he? My drawings are pretty abstract! I’m not so worried now, I think I’ll be ok! And anyway, I agree with Pablo Picasso when he says “I paint objects as I think them, not as I see them.”  Who cares if no-one else can figure out what they are, so long as I can and they help me learn 🙂 (Although this doesn’t work when playing Draw Something because the whole point is to draw things in a way that others can guess what it is …)

Not another student nurse!!!!

Preparing to be a student nurse is hard and I am under no illusions that being an actual student nurse is going to be 100x harder.

There are so many things that need to happen… applications, interviews, references, CRB checks, immunisations, occupational health interviews, qualification checks, placement preferences and most importantly shopping. Don’t forget the shopping! Stationary, folders, diaries, fob watches (I got a pink and blue one as a pressie!), comfy shoes and whatever else springs to mind! But for me, the one thing I have indulged in is books – I doubt I will ever have enough hours in a lifetime to read the amount of books I have purchased….

You can’t really see the second layer of books sitting behind these…..haha!

Anyone who knows me will know that I just don’t like feeling unprepared. I’m already going back to uni with the tide against me so to speak…with being a slightly older student and with no health care education or work experience I must admit I do feel a little out of my depth and I just don’t want to turn up to my first day with no clue whatsoever. But…never one to turn down a challenge I now have a small country’s worth of reading to do and it’s actually going pretty well!

So all the admin and shopping out of the way, the most frustrating thing for me at the moment is people’s perception (or stereotypes) of students, nursing and nurses. I do realise that no individual will get away from seeing or meeting at least one student or nurse in their lifetime, whether it is in a clinical or personal setting and everyone is entitled to their own opinions….but….it’s incredibly frustrating to have opinions of “dirty lazy” students, “stressed out” nurses and a “crappy” NHS forced on me.

Me: “I’m tired”
Response: “You’ll be able to rest lots when you’re back at uni and you’re a lazy student!”

Me: “I didn’t get up until 8am”
Response: “You’ll have to get used to the early mornings when you’re a nurse!!”

Me: “I’m going to be a student nurse”
Response No.1: “Not another student nurse! Doesn’t the NHS have enough nurses?!
Response No.2: “I hope you like wiping bums!”
Response No.3: “My mum/aunt/sister’s friend/dog’s walker’s grandma is a nurse”
Response No.4: “You do know that’s going to be really hard don’t you? And you hardly get paid anything”

I really want to address some of these points because they are really bugging me!

I don’t doubt there will be university students out there who are lazy, I’m also 100% sure that there are workers out there who are just as lazy. I have worked with some…in fact…I have worked with people who fell asleep at work. I don’t recall any student having fallen asleep in lectures… hungover and not paying attention yes, fallen asleep no.

I don’t disagree that some degrees allow for a lot of free time. But not nursing. A standard non-nursing/medical degree is around 36 weeks long which leaves a lot of holidays. My nursing degree is 47 weeks long with 5 weeks holiday per year. I would say that on average that’s the same as a full time job if not less. What’s more, the NMC (Nursing and Midwifery Council) which decides whether to register a nurse ready for practice, “will not accept less than three years and 4,600 hours in order to ensure that sufficient time is spent in practice to achieve the standards of proficiency for safe and effective practice” (http://www.nmc-uk.org/Documents/Standards/nmcStandardsofProficiencyForPre_RegistrationNursingEducation.pdf). Assuming 8 hours per day as per the average full time job, this equates to 575 days across 3 years (around 192 days per year) of university attendance and practical placements. It does not include reading (recommended 2-3 hours per 1 hour lecture), revision for exams, preparation for placements etc…The average number of working days in a year are around 210-230 days taking into account average holidays. This doesn’t quite add up to the lifestyle of a lazy student, does it?

Unlike Trainee teachers, student nurses don’t get paid during training. We get a bursary from the NHS which is actually a godsend because the number of hours required to study and the shift pattern that placements take, make part time work very difficult. The NHS is very short of nurses (and many other key workers) and at a time of austerity it simply cannot afford to fund all degrees, provide a bursary and pay for training. I’m more than ok with this.

However, once qualified, nurses are actually paid pretty well. Obviously “pretty well” will be a pittance to a CEO of a Fortune 500 company. It is probably a little under the average UK salary, but then, many entry level jobs are. At senior level the pay is very attractive – don’t be fooled by hearsay! The progression path in nursing is also simply enormous. The number of different branches and specialisations and the different roles of a nurse mean that the options are near endless. They research, educate, empower, counsel, listen, diagnose, prescribe and much more. I won’t lie, wiping bums is definitely somewhere in there….at some point your bum or the bum of someone you love may need wiping, and you’ll be grateful that a nurse is available to help you or your loved one in the most sensitive and dignified manner.

I do also realise that nursing can be physically and emotionally draining. Everyone’s experience will be different but it is clear in my mind that the best and worst days of my life will probably happen whilst I’m a student nurse or a qualified nurse. Does it frighten me? Not really. It saddens me that it would put people off. This is why I get frustrated with people’s opinions on nursing. As with anything, people rarely comment on positive aspects of any job, only the negatives. So generally, I only ever hear the bad sides of nursing and honestly, I don’t want to hear it. I want to find out for myself because:

a) every job has good and bad points

b) I don’t tell you how pants I think your job is

c) nursing has evolved massively in recent years so your grandma’s experiences may not longer be relevant in today’s nursing practice and

c) this is MY journey and I’d like to find out these things for myself thank you!

So I’m afraid that yep….another student nurse (and many more to come) is in your midst…but I’m not just another student nurse. I’m aspiring to be a better person in every way I can and know how to because, in the words of a very lovely anonymous patient “Nurses may not be angels, but they are the next best thing”.…and I’ve always wanted a halo 🙂